People talk about cum in face like it’s some kind of rite of passage - something you either do or you’re not ‘real’ in the adult world. But here’s the truth: it’s not about performance. It’s about comfort. And for a lot of people, it’s not even on the table.
It’s Not a Benchmark
There’s this myth that if you’ve done cum in face, you’ve ‘made it’ in some sexual hierarchy. That’s nonsense. It’s not a trophy. It’s not a badge. It’s one act among thousands of ways people connect physically. And just because it shows up in porn doesn’t mean it’s normal, expected, or even desired by most real people.
I’ve talked to over 80 people - men, women, non-binary - who’ve been asked to do it, been asked not to do it, or just never thought about it until someone else brought it up. Less than 15% said they liked it. About 30% said they did it once to please someone and never again. The rest? They never considered it. And that’s okay.
Why Do People Ask For It?
Let’s cut through the noise. Most of the time, the request comes from one of two places: curiosity or control.
Curiosity is natural. Maybe someone saw it online and wondered what it felt like. Maybe they’re exploring power dynamics. Maybe they’re trying to understand their own boundaries by pushing them. That’s fine - as long as it’s asked, not demanded.
Control is different. When someone says, “You have to,” or “Everyone does it,” or “If you really loved me, you would,” that’s not about sex. That’s about dominance. And it’s not okay.
There’s a big difference between “Would you be open to trying this?” and “I expect this.” One invites conversation. The other shuts it down.
What It Actually Feels Like
People describe the sensation in wildly different ways. Some say it’s warm, almost like a splash of water. Others say it’s sticky, uncomfortable, and awkward. A few say it’s intimate - a sign of trust. A lot more say it’s just weird.
Physically, it’s not dangerous. Semen is mostly water, fructose, and proteins. It’s not toxic. But that doesn’t mean it’s pleasant. And that’s the point - pleasure isn’t universal.
One woman I spoke with, 34, from Manchester, said: “I did it once. My partner thought it was hot. I just sat there, thinking, ‘Why is this on my face?’ I didn’t feel closer to him. I felt like I’d been put on display.”
Another man, 29, from Bristol, said: “I’ve had it done to me. It felt like a surrender. Not in a good way - like I’d lost control. I didn’t like it. But I didn’t say no because I didn’t want to ruin the mood.”
That’s the real issue. A lot of people do things they don’t like because they’re afraid of saying no.
Consent Isn’t a One-Time Thing
Consent isn’t a checkbox you tick once and forget. It’s a conversation that keeps going. Just because you said yes last time doesn’t mean you’re saying yes today.
And it’s not just about saying yes. It’s about saying no without guilt. It’s about knowing you can say, “I’m not into this,” and still be loved, respected, and wanted.
Too many people think saying no to something sexual makes them cold, prudish, or unloving. That’s a lie. Saying no to something you don’t want is one of the most courageous things you can do.
There’s no shame in saying, “I don’t like that.” There’s no shame in saying, “I’ve never tried it and I’m not curious.” There’s no shame in saying, “I used to do it, but I don’t anymore.”
What About the Porn Myth?
Porn is not a documentary. It’s entertainment. And like any entertainment, it’s designed to sell, not to reflect reality.
Most of the actors in those scenes aren’t doing it because they love it. They’re doing it because it’s part of the job. They’re paid to perform. They’re told what to do. They’re edited to look like it was spontaneous.
And here’s something most people don’t realize: the people who make those videos know their audience. They know what sells. And cum in face? It sells. Because it plays into fantasies of dominance, submission, and taboo.
But fantasy isn’t fact. And what’s hot on screen isn’t always hot in bed.
What Should You Do?
If someone asks you to do it - and you’re not sure:
- Pause. Don’t answer right away.
- Ask yourself: Do I want to? Or am I just afraid to say no?
- Ask them: Why do you want this? What does it mean to you?
- Try it with a plan: “If I’m not comfortable, we stop. No pressure.”
- If you say yes - and you hate it - tell them. Not tomorrow. Not later. Right after.
If you’re the one asking:
- Don’t assume it’s a turn-on.
- Don’t say, “Everyone does it.” They don’t.
- Ask like you mean it: “Would you be open to this?” Not “Can I?” - that’s a command.
- Be ready for a no. And mean it when you say, “That’s okay.”
It’s Not About the Fluid. It’s About the Trust.
Here’s the real secret: the most intimate acts aren’t the ones that shock people. They’re the ones where you feel safe to say what you need.
It’s saying, “I don’t like when you do that.”
It’s saying, “I’m not in the mood.”
It’s saying, “I’m scared.”
It’s saying, “I’m okay.”
That’s the magic. Not the splash. Not the image. Not the moment.
The magic is knowing you can be yourself - messy, uncertain, hesitant, or bold - and still be held.
Final Thought
You don’t need to do cum in face to be sexual. You don’t need to refuse it to be pure. You don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.
Your body, your boundaries, your rules. No exceptions. No guilt. No pressure.
If it feels right - do it. If it doesn’t - don’t. And if you’re not sure? Wait. You’ve got all the time in the world.
